Temptation

"something that tempts, entices, or allures."

Sometimes you have feelings that pull you away from the normality of your day to day living. It's something new, it has spice, it has something that makes you think, I could do that, even better, I want to do that.

You sit back and think, but what if I did? What are the consequences of my actions? Do I just carry on doing what am I doing or do I mix it up?

I say, you are only tempted because its something new.

But whatever it is, what ever you want to do, check your options and if makes sense and you understand the consequences...................do it :)

I'm Alive

So I did the lengths I aimed for last night, oh and my new PC monitor turned up /drool.

But something hit home this morning. Far too much reminiscing and probably thinking too much but in some ways.... I should not be here. Not as in right at this moment, where I am, but not here at all.

I could write pages on what ifs. I am not going to delve too deep into the past, whats the point I am alive and living now. So you only live once, you only have one opportunity, live it as much as you can and do not faulter.

The only advice I can give is, learn from your mistakes, live with them and set small goals so that everyday you can wake up and feel like you have achieved something. I want my legacy to that of pride. I am happy with what I have, what I want I do and doing something with my life.

I am alive, I am living in now and I am living with it.

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Well the day is going well. very chilled compared to last week at least. Trying an apple again for the first time in months. For some reason I could not stomach fresh fruit, but this is, well, staying down :)

The new PC monitor arrives tomorrow. I am glad that is out the way, my friend can finally have his back. I have been doing a lot of reminiscing over the last two days. Remember what I have, what I have lost and what I have achieved.

Putting things back in to a clear perspective.

Well swimming tonight and chilling is on the menu. I have a 3D modelling task I need to complete by Saturday. As most projects, why do I have to wait to the last minute.

Maybe I should read that Time Management book at home as well as work.........

How You Like Them Apples

Good day today,

Last night I played 6 games of bowling with the other half. I had been thinking a lot about what I wear, when I wear certain stuff and thought "why dont I try something a lil smaller".

So I popped down to Asda and bought a new pair of jeans. When I got back indoors I decided to try them on straight away. I kind of feared what would happen. Lol, they fitted and that to me says one thing, result.

So all that football and swimming has been paying off. Bike is fixed but not using it this week till Friday due to stuff I got to do at home. Time to re-address some existing goals and push things forward.

Maybe learning new stuff and feeling good is the perfect marriage of balance.

I have no real balance, haha, maybe that should be on one of my list to do. Learn physical as well as mental balance.

So feeling good, looking better, what more do you want.

Oh yeah, that new 22" widescreen LG tft monitor :)

Past, Present and Future

So this weekend, a not so eventful one. Bicycle is fixed, ready to go. Did some cleaning, bit of reminiscing and thats it.

This week is carry on with swimming, getting work done and football hopefully Thursday.

I mean what could happen.....

Patience

"an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner. "

Or not as the case may be. Come on it's Friday and I have poker tonight. About time this week is over with, roll on the weekend.

Time is on my side today. Must use it wisely.

Looking back, its been an up and down week, but isnt every week?

Pacified

"To ease the anger or agitation of."

When you feel like you have dealt with the frustration, you made you choice, now you are getting on with it and you have some form of success.

Yeah I get angry, yes I get agitated. Not neccesarilly when things do not go my way, but when you can see a better option. Either directly involved with yourself or not.

How many times a day you speak to someone about what they are doing, how they are feeling and either decide to say your part to help, or not. Sometimes you say nothing either to keep the peace or simply because it may offend or hurt someone else. You think, but you do not act.

Maybe the instigator needs to do less instigating.

Open Your Eyes

One of my friends commented you are seeing the world differently, outside of the box.
Reminds me of a comment in the film, Matrix:

Neo : Why do my eyes hurt?
Neo blinks
Morpheus : You've never used them before.

Mixing it Up

While watching Arsenal beat Fenerbahce 5 -2 last night, it got me thinking.

Instead of the "frustration" of it all, don't think, just do.

Why wait on someone else to make the decision, know the consequences of your actions and just "do it". Last night I made the decision, last night I thought sod this, I cant be done with the hassle, make your own mind up and stick with it. If you are unhappy, you did it, you made the choice.

Nice to be in that position to make your own choice. Some people dont get that option, they live with the choice that has been handed to them. They may give an arm or a leg for a different choice :)

But not today, today it's my choice....

Frustration

"a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems"

We all feel down and for what ever reason you act differently. You dont know why, you just do. The mind is somewhere else, deep in thought thinking every single consequence of what if.

You hear that thing called "noise". You hear people talking, but its either just below or above what you care to hear.... my definition of noise.

As humans, we feel the need to either let go our feelings or store them in one place, never quite hitting the delicate balance. You want to say something, you destined to. But instead you either say nothing, or you say something out of context. Every word or comment is said the wrong way, you dont know why, its just does. Can never say the right thing at the right time.

But then there is the willingness to act. Either talk about it, create "noise" or just do it. Sometimes the "just do it" is just too much, you cant split multiple ways at the same time. Now that is frustration.

The choice of what, when, how you do it, with the least amount of consequence and look outside the box.

I do now, or I dont. But when I do, the choice will make a change. Either accept the change or dont do the doing of it.

Maybe the initiative to act is stronger than worrying about what affect it has. Maybe stop the initiative to learn, to progress, just do and think of more important things.

Then that way, you might learn something different.

And Now It Starts

Speaking to one of my friends at work, its about time I start blogging "stuff".
When you feel "meh" come here :)