Trading Places

Okay thats it. Why did I choose to work here?

I thought I would start abruptly for a change...........

So, this animation lark. Sticking with it. It is my only goal. I have a week off in June to nail it. 9 days to sit there in front of my screens and learn. Get outta 'ere.

It is the only goal at the moment. Enough is enough. Right now its techno/electro music, a spot of doodling that gets me through the day. If I dont acheive in animation, I have nothing else to turn to, that is why it "MUST" happen...........

I will fight till the bitter end to "entertain" a new industry.

I Am Who I Am

I cant sleep, I cant eat. I am so frustrated, angry and generally annoyed.

Something happened on Monday I did not expect. The backstabbing bull that goes on just amazes me. You help, you advise and you do your best and for what, nothing.

Some part of me says revenge, an interesting word. Comprising of seven letters, seven sins. Another part says let it go, but I can not.

I cant help that my personality says, I get emotional charged, you deal with it and move on. But this is out of the normal. I don’t want to let it go. I want pure revenge, I want someone to feel so sick that they will never cross me again. My heart is on my sleeve, that’s me.

I know I would feel guilty for doing it but the blatant disregard tuned with my anger I just want to let it all go. My options are limited, I could jack it all in and say “sod it” why should I bother. I don’t want to work with people with a complete disregard or understanding of what I am trying to do.

In the current climate that is difficult. In the other hand I could use it as a catalyst to accelerate my plans to get out of here. That is what I normally do and is usually a foundation for me to push things forward.

I need time, I need to release some of these feelings that are just ready to explode. I know I have got to snap out of it before I do something stupid but at the moment I just……..

I say this from the heart because I am who I am.

Escape

Well it is going well.

I have been through the first 8 videos/tutorials on my course. I am finding it very easy to pickup. On a few occasions I have had to pause/edit and carry on but I am lucky with my PC setup to do that.

I decided to switch away from the texturing course and choose animation. I noticed the texturing was mainly photoshop, which I know how to use but I want to learn more about rigging and core animation skills. Texturing just not my thing. Glad I decided to make the change now before I paid for the course!

I have done my first animation of a toy car, next the bouncing ball, then the solar system.

Been A Long Time Coming

Well I have been saving money and next month I have enough to start my first course online with Escape Studios, London. http://www.escapestudios.com/en_GB/home.html

I have been away for a month dithering in and out of Maya and Zbrush contemplating what to do. I have been going back to watch films like Transformers, Lord of the Rings to get some much needed inspiration. Once again, I have updated my deviantart page and I hope the start with next months texturing course points me in the right direction.

http://iank240.deviantart.com/art/iank240-March09-Rodorix-115926484

Ian out :)

Faffing

A had a very good conversation with a friend who has really put things into perspective for me.

I could see raindrops on my window, but I could not see through the window clearly...

So faffing, yes, my word of the week. And less of it.

Level design, level design, level design. I know now to use Maya, now make something susbstantial. An interesting point and a point taken. So the Black Pearl? Nah too much detail, start small. Ooo, an old english tavern, now that is something that could be interesting...

Help

I am finding life a little difficult at the moment.

I am going against what I normally do. Usually very open, happy to help. I did not realize how difficult it was to switch the other way. Yes I am focused on what I want, but personally, it feels like a lot of hard work.

Itching to help, but I have to stop myself doing it.

Slow Progress

As the title suggests. Slow progress.

I am still seething inside but now I have some direction. Sometimes it just takes time. Bit I am still not letting up. My plan is gaining momentum. I say to myself "stick to the plan" let the rage flow...

I have no other way of dealing with what I have. If I let up, the pieces unfold like a rose. But the bud is still young. Shame the stem was pointing into the ground for a while. I want the flower to unfold how I want it, with a little help by nature...........

On a happier note, with Harri we created a Rhino out of the snow. Share the love.

Pleasure In Speaking

Do you know what, fk it.

I dont care if I seem passionate, angry, without compassion or even without seeing the bigger picture, but fk with me and I dont go lying down.

In fact, I am taking this opportunity as a catalyst (as always) to just tweak my intentions to larger goals. I maybe a bit arrogant to say I have no limitations, whatever I do, I will have a go and use what I got. All that I have.

But I aint always going to be able to everything at the same time, give someone a little direction and great things could happen. For all those that know what has happened, then I know what will happen. I tried the politically correct route, now I am going to the top of the chain and working down.

People may get a little upset, I may push the wrong buttons but I cant keep everyone happy.

Multitasking Monkey no longer wants to be a monkey.

Felt Like Posting Something

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could

First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything

The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned

The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

Just Bring It

I has been busy :)

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Scwnsgij0oo
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=SaML4KLkyd0
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NfuVYjKNMxM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uo_zjARE5bk

So now its all about game mechanics and UV mapping, (texturing).

Game Mechanics:

Mind
Focus
Wisdom

Body
Agility
Precision

Spirit
Essence
Balance

The game mechanics will work like this.

For instance, punched in the shoulder, the first time it hurts a little (Body). Hit in the same place, the arm goes dead, (body). The (mind) cant focus on just fighting the opponent as the body is hurt trying to defend itself (mind/spirit) and attacking at the same time. The shoulder gets hit a few more times, now the arm/shoulder is broken, the (body) is damaged, the (mind) is split and the (spirit) is broken.

So three different attributes split. As the body takes damage the health bar (for the purpose and ease of talking about it) goes down, but regenerates over time. The Mind and spirit much the same. The spirit suffers when it is overwhelmed. My plan is to build modifiers around the attributes in bold. It is a more in depth game mechanic but has it rewards.

My problem is dealing with death. Do I only take it as far as incapacitated only and the avatar can never die? Hmm, something to think about.

If I am boring you, well, erm...
Your sarcasm is not welcome here ..... Move Along :)

Maya Dynamics

It has taken me 3 hours to do this woot!

My first Maya dynamics video. Not fantastic, but its a start :)

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cl9NgJjFRZU

Another Deviant Update

Well its coming to the end of the year, I took some time out last night to play with Zbrush. I have posted on my deviantart page the first Zbrush model base mesh I have played with and have had some success.

Happy New Year to all. And let the good times roll :)

Deviant Update

Just a quick one to say I have updated my deviantart page with two new pics.

Happy Yule/Crimbo/Christmas/Christmastide/Noel everyone.

Its Been a While

As the title suggests, its been a while since I blogged.

I have been keeping myself busy. I have a 500Gb external HDD arriving at Xmas which is going to give me the ability to reshuffle my current project setup within Maya. My PC is a bit of a mess with files everywhere. I hope to reshuffle and hit Maya/Zbrush hard.

This week I have been part playing World of Warcraft, getting an idea to model something and switching to Maya :) As one of my friends mentioned some time ago, the mind thinks at 100Gb/s, the hand about 100mb/s. Bah! I want to have more time to do more!!

I have not posted on my deviantart page for a while as I want to do the best I can do and get better quality items on show.

One thing I have learnt in the last two weeks, ff I could make time, I would use time, but how could I ever have time if I dont use time................

Back In The Day

Got to into bed last night and having one of the “remembering something random” episodes. I remember sending a letter to the Head Teacher of the Primary School I attended as she was retiring to wish her well. This was last year and I remember receiving a letter back.

This got me thinking. I have had this before. My memory is not that good before I was 13 for one reason or another. But this was interesting. Slowly I was piecing together bits, events that happened when I was at primary school.

I remember the final term in year 6 receiving an endeavour award. I was sitting at the top left of the assembly hall and remember getting up to walk to the front to receive the award with the students and teachers clapping their hands.

Then I started to remember other things. In year 5, I sat at the back right of the room near the green door. Back then, if I was to walk out of the door, turn left, directly to the left was where we kept our bags and lunch boxes. A small wall separated that from a PC and shelves cover in green trays that held paper clips, rulers, etc.

In Year 4 I sat at the back, middle of the classroom. I remember with 2 of my friends (who I am still in contact with today) drawing cars on 2D graphics paper and colouring them in black felt tip, over and over again. Lol

There was a lot more I could remember but I cant be bothered to write all the information here. Then I kind of snapped out of it, feeling really, really hot. Next thing I was probably asleep.

Well I can say on that is, if the mind is piecing fact together, or, filling the gaps with fiction to continue the story line, all good fun……….

Good Luck Sis. :(

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Abort, Retry, Never Fail

I have not updated my blog in a while. My reasons were simple. Too much going on.
I got so enthusiastic of doing different things, I lost touch on my own priorities. I did not go swimming last week as I got my new graphics tablet.

So I took time out over the weekend. I pulled from the music archives some really old hip-hop, rap, garage and new-metal albums. Everything from Missy Elliot, Nas, Puff Daddy, So Solid Crew , Limp Bizkit, Slipknot and listened away.

Why did I like this music? Lol. I think a few years ago I was going through the stage of not knowing what music I liked, so I listened to what ever was in the charts at the time. From there, I moved on to progressive music, Mr Scruff, Rob D, Dillinja, Lemon Jelly, etc.

Oh how the times have changed. I think I will stick with One Republic, Linkin Park, Arctic Monkeys and Snow Patrol for the moment :)

Besides that. I re-addressed what I wanted to do. I dont seem to have enough hours to do everything so i got to manage what I can do better.

1. Play with wife (easy tiger)
2. Maya/Zbrush all the funky modelling stuff
3. Swimming/Football
4. World of Warcraft, other online games.

Cycling. Off the list at the moment till next year. Too cold and I am still doing round-robin to work in the morning. Pool, not sure whether to do it each week or not at the moment.

Did I miss anything off my list? :)

Woot

I got my graphics tablet, woot! :)

I am now going to model and draw for hours. Bring it on Zbrush, muahahahaha.

Can I borrow someone for "reference" material?

Tarots Know Best

Seriously I am kidding.

Yeah I had my life mapped out on 10 cards over the weekend. I dont believe a bit of colour on a card with words that could mean a 100 things actually say anything about my life.

But it got me thinking. Whether you believe in what the stars are telling you or not, I take it with a pinch of salt. With a bit of pepper and grill thoroughly until hot then eat :)

But this is a new week. The graphics tablet will arrive tomorrow, then we start getting serious with this modelling something special lark.

My next target is to buy a 2nd HDD, whether it be internal or external. I am now working out how much I have spent on equipment so I can do this 3D modelling stuff.

Details available soon. Ssssh, just dont tell the other half :)

Dinner Party - What Class Am I?

So we go in. No mucking about. The jackets are left with the female at the door who greats everyone and wishes them all a very good night. There are 4 people serving champagne and there is complimentary food provided by the hosts.

The atmosphere gets interesting as more and more people start piling in to the venue. Its comfortable, there is enough people to fill up the venue without it being cramped.

As more people come in, groups start to seperate off. There is a few minutes while everyone works each other out and some try to mingle, others just chat with their partners or friends they know from work or other activity.

All this interests me. I am in the corner with a champagne flute in one hand dressed in a tux, with parnsip crisps in the other. I watch as people start chatting about their, jobs, their social lives and James bond stuff.

I can tell you the woman in the opposite corner with her dark purple dress, aged between 40 - 45 has probably two kids. Both have been to University and she either works as a PA or head of a respectable organisation. Her Husband is also fairly well off working as either the owner or Director of a Insurance Broker. The young male walking with black trouers and purple striped shirt is probably at Uni. His girlfriend (no rings on) is probably doing an art degree or studying English/History. I made that decisiong based on the black dress she is wearing which is comfortable with a suitable brown/red scarf that hides her insecurity in what she is wearing.

By this time, I can tell you that most of the females in the room I have segregated off in to categories. The ones who seem older who have children and have dinner parties all the time, those slightly younger who join their families for get togethers frequently and those slightly worried about what they are wearing and are trying to fit in.

And there is always one. A young lady dresses as a bond villain in a quite revealing blue/white dress with blonde pigtails. She provides some much needed conversational topic for the night.

I start to mingle and watch peoples eyes as they meet new people and you can tell when they want to talk to someone else. They say nothing but their body language towards that person switches off and in the opposite direction. And those you switch away as you run out of things to say. The champagne and orange juice is in full flow and the atmosphere is getting louder as more people are chatting.

The majority of the males in the room are not alpha. They have either been there and done that or I just charmed to be there. I joke with a fairly old man in his late 40s, early 50s about joining the local rabble to the cinema to watch the Quantum of Solace. We discuss (and with his wife) kemosabi peas and the rice chilli bites on offer. A charming chap.

So while I am doing all this figuring out and enjoying the fravolities of the evening, I wonder who was doing the same?

Could I host a dinner party with the same kind of open ended execution where the people create the atmosphere and make it comfortable and charming? Well only one way to find out. Another time to roll out the tux/suit for another evening.........